Overcome Stress: Dealing with difficult people
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, from time to time, you will encounter difficult people. In the workplace, in a friendship group, or even in your family; difficult people can make life very complicated and stressful. Whilst they cannot be avoided, there are ways that you can protect yourself from any negativity and stress that they may cause. Follow these steps to find out more.
When we are cross or upset with someone, it’s very easily to be reactive; to be angry that they have behaved in a certain way. Clear your mind, and think about the person in question.
Are they going through something difficult at home? Could you have misunderstood their meaning? Are they shy? Do they have difficulty understanding social situations? It’s so easy to assume that any difficult behaviour is confrontational, and to take things very personally. Quite often, people that seem difficult are dealing with their own problems, and their behaviour comes from thoughtlessness or misunderstanding rather than rudeness.
Learn to say no
All too often, we agree to things that we don’t really want to do, and this creates an internal resentment that bubbles under the surface, waiting to burst! In this situation, any minor problem can become disproportionately frustrating. If you genuinely don’t have the time or inclination to do something, say no firmly but politely. Everyone will be better off in the long run!
You may have a friend that is always trying to impress their ideas on you. Consider the impact of your words.
“You are always so bossy”
“I appreciate your input and you have some great ideas.
I’ll certainly consider them.”
Our words and body language can heal a great deal of difficulties between people. Always talk about the problem, rather than the person, and if a topic causes friction, a swift change of subject can work wonders until you are ready to deal with it.
Deal with bullies
Sometimes people are deliberately difficult, for a number of reasons. Dealing with bullies can be extremely upsetting, exhausting and debilitating. We are all told from a young age to ignore bullies; that they are jealous or threatened by those that they treat badly. Whilst this may be good advice, it is still very hard to reach your own goals if you feel that your efforts are being sabotaged by another person.
If you are having problems with someone that you consider to be a bully, it’s useful to confront them. Request a meeting where you can air your opinion. Before the meeting, visualise a positive outcome. When you visualise the meeting, imagine yourself in the meeting location and see it going exactly as you want it to go. See yourself getting your point of view across clearly, negotiating effectively and communicating your needs calmly and articulately.
Make the visualisation very clear using all of your senses, see the colours and notice the aroma in the room. Make everything big and bright in your mind’s eye and run it through like a video from start to finish. See yourself at the end of the meeting feeling very satisfied with the way that you expressed yourself. If you do this a few times before the actual meeting you will be amazed at how well you are able to communicate when the time comes for real.
De-stress self-hypnosis technique – protecting yourself from negative or stressful people
- Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. Allow yourself to become very calm and take a moment to clear your mind. Now imagine you are surrounded by a white protective light. Visualise a protective energy field all around your body, as though you have stepped inside a white bubble of pure healing light.
- When you imagine this light around you, you will feel completely safe and secure. No negative energy can pass through this protective shield. If anyone criticizes you or is negative towards you, it will bounce off your protective shield and have no effect on you. Only positive thoughts and energy can pass through your protective light. Whenever you are around stressful people at work use this visualisation.
Any time you imagine being inside this white bubble, you will immediately feel protected from the negative energy of others. The next time a difficult person is near you, and you imagine you are inside your protective white light energy field, you will feel completely different towards them and much more in control of your feelings. They will no longer affect you in a negative way. You can use this technique to protect you from anyone who emits negative energy.
If, after following these steps, you are still experiencing problems, look inside yourself and try to change the way that you react to difficult people. If you find yourself frustrated because someone is always late, try to work on your own patience. If someone is quick to anger when you approach a certain topic, think about discussing it in a different way.
We all view life through our own experiences, and gaining a deeper appreciation of our own minds and how we react to things is just as important as understanding the actions of others.
P.S. My hypnotherapy / hypnosis recordings can help. Download these recordings now!