Let Yourself Forgive
We have all been hurt at some point in our lives, but letting go of the past and choosing to forgive is a healthy choice. It is not an easy journey to find peace, but by making the decision to follow the path to forgiveness, you are taking a huge step forward to heal yourself. Follow my steps to work towards forgiveness.
Let it go
There is a Buddhist saying;
‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal, with the
intent of throwing it at another person.’
The person that is hurt most of all, is the person holding onto it. Forgiveness is about making a choice to let the anger go, for your own healing to take place.
Focus on the present
When you focus on the present, you can experience real peace, untroubled by the past and unworried by the future. By taking each moment as it comes, you release yourself from hurt. Observe emotions as they arise, experience each one without judgement, and let go of any pain or negativity.
Express your pain
Emotional pain often manifests through physical pain. Tension in shoulders, throat, back and stomach are often symptoms of stress, and if you are dealing with long-term anger or resentment, you may find that you have aches and pains that cannot be explained. Find a way to release and express your pain. This can take place through journalling, talking therapy, or through activities that reduce tension. These can vary from energetic sports such as running, cycling or martial arts, through to calming, controlled activities such as yoga, meditation or t’ai chi. Listen to your body and find the release that suits you.
End the day well
Before you go to sleep, try to clear your mind of anything that has troubled you throughout the day. Take deep, cleansing breaths and let any anger or frustration drift away. This enables you to sleep peacefully, and to wake up the next day refreshed and ready to start over.
You may find that the person that you need to forgive most is yourself. Self-destructive behaviour often comes from a place of great pain, and we often hurt ourselves as a way of coping with other difficulties in life. Whether emotionally hurting ourselves through negative self-talk, or in a more physical way, it is important to address the issues behind it and begin the healing process. Consider hypnotherapy or counselling to help you find inner peace.
Take your time
Forgiveness is not something that can be forced. You may find that you take steps forward one day, and back the next. The intention to keep trying is the important thing in this case. Never – no matter what – give up on letting go of negativity, resentment and anger. Some days will be harder than others, but see it as a work in progress.
Releasing past pain
This exercise will help you let go of the burden of resentment and anger.
I would like you to visualise a person or group of people who you have felt negatively about in the present or past. Perhaps you have fallen out with them, or maybe you feel that they have been unfair to you in some way. Take your time to make the image in your mind is bright and vibrant as possible and if it feels comfortable, pay attention to how you are feeling emotionally whilst you build the picture in your mind.
Now take a moment to say these affirmations and really connect with a feeling of forgiveness as you say them. ‘Feeling it’ is the most important part of the affirmations.
‘I forgive you completely and release all negativity’
‘May you be filled with happiness and joy’
‘May you be healthy and well’
Now let go of the visualisation and take a few slow deep breaths. Take a few moments to reflect on how you feel. Perhaps you can begin to question some of the things that you consider to be facts about yourself and others. Don’t be disheartened if it takes a little longer. Years of strong beliefs can be hard to challenge, but with practice, opening the mind to an alternative perspective can be a very useful tool.
The process of forgiveness is different for everyone. You may find that it happens organically over time, or you may find that you have to work hard at it.
In extreme cases, it is absolutely fine to choose not to forgive. If someone has negatively impacted your life in a very dramatic way, particularly if they have shown no remorse, do not feel that you have to forgive them. The important thing is to draw a line under the past and allow yourself a fresh start. Removing negative emotion and old traumas is a gradual process, but you can and you will set yourself free.
Please feel free to post a comment below.
All the best,
P.S. My hypnotherapy / hypnosis recordings can help you with finding forgiveness. Download these recordings now! These titles are also available as iPhone, iPad and Android apps. Download these recordings now!