Improve your relationship
A loving, happy relationship is an important part of life. Relationships can be challenging, but anything worth having requires a little hard work! Take a look at these steps to help strengthen your relationship.
Numerous Hollywood films have given us the impression that finding the right partner is the biggest relationship struggle there is (in fact, quite often romantic films end just as the couple get together!) In reality, a relationship is something that needs to be worked at constantly.
Remember the reasons that you got together in the first place, and the nice things that you did for one another, and start them up again. This could be anything from leaving notes for each other, treating each other to small gifts, or arranging a regular ‘date night’.
As we go through different stages of our lives, we react differently to situations. For example, if we are stressed at work, dealing with ill health or coping with a family problem, we may be quicker to react negatively than we would on a good day. Try to understand any background issues before judging your partner’s reaction.
Take time to breathe
Relationships can become problematic because people don’t always live up to our expectations and we don’t always live up to theirs. If you think about someone in your life who you have relationship problems with, the problems will have arisen because you believe they are acting incorrectly, and vice versa. But, if you can adopt a more liberal attitude and allow your partner a little space, it can help.
Very often, we spend the whole day being friendly to other people, only to get home and complain about our day, or about minor problems or habits that irritate us. There’s a wonderful quote by writer Maya Angelou; “If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love”. This is so true, and vitally important to the health of any relationship.
Take time to sit down with your partner and communicate. Create a ‘No Phone Zone’ and eat meals together where possible. When you talk to your partner, really be there with them. Make eye contact and connect with them on every level.
Find a balance
Whilst spending time together is important, it’s good to have your own interests too. Ensure that you spend a couple of evenings each week doing something together, but if you have differing interests, take time to enjoy them too. Being happy and doing things that you love keeps your light shining, and this is what makes you who you are!
If your relationship has become very difficult, try to resolve any conflicts. This is particularly important if you have children. Make sure the territory is neutral and there is no one else around. Go to a coffee shop that neither of you frequent, and talk. Direct communication is the key to resolving disputes.
Hoping the other person will change or suddenly see things your way is highly unlikely unless you communicate. Before the meeting project a feeling of love towards your partner, and try to hold onto that feeling throughout your discussions, even if you still disagree. This may be challenging, but it will help you to express yourself more positively and you will feel better for it afterwards. You may find it helpful to go to a relationship counsellor who can help you get to the bottom of your unresolved issues, without judgement.
Know when to let go
You still need to be aware that no matter how loving you are there are some people who will not or cannot reflect love back to you. People are attracted to kind-hearted people and as with all things, a small minority of the energy you attract will be of the wrong sort. Be aware of this and establish firm boundaries with people if you need to.
When you learn to love people it should come from a place of strength, not totally suppressing yourself and your own needs. Be loving, compassionate and big-hearted, but at the same time be strong and never let people treat you badly.
P.S. My recordings can help you improve your relationships. Download these recordings now!